Invincibility Potion

A criminal was on death row for twelve years, when finally it was decided that he should be executed. The Warden came in and asked what he wanted for his last meal.

“Invincibility potion,” said the convict.

The Warden shot a glare in his direction. “Don’t try to play games with me, buddy.”

I knew that wouldn’t work, thought the criminal with a sigh. Looks like this is the end. 

The Warden continued, “I asked you what you wanted to eat, and you said ‘invincibility potion.’ That’s clearly a drink. Now I’ll ask you again: what do you want to eat for your final meal?”

The criminal thought about it and said, “T-bone steak and mashed potatoes.”

“Alright, and what to drink?”

“Invincibility potion.”

The Warden wrote it down. “That’s more like it. I can see why you got thrown in here, you reckless bastard.” He turned around and left, muttering, “’What do you want to eat?’ ‘Oh, how about this drink? That’s food, right?’ Jesus Christ in Heaven.”

That night, after his final meal, the criminal jumped out of the top-story window, landed on his back, got up, scaled the electric fence, and disappeared into the woods, all while being shot in the head and attacked by prison dogs. It was almost too easy.


About Chris Haygood

Chris Haygood is an author of novels, short stories, and screenplays. He lives in one of the darker sectors of the cosmos with his wife, two kids, and 1700 dogs.
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