Author Archives: Christopher Haygood

About Christopher Haygood

Christopher Haygood is an incorrigible punk from the darkest sector of Nowheresville. He is a writer of novels, short stories, articles, screenplays, threats, and fake prescriptions for the unsuspecting elderly. He is not yet infamous.

Martin Bashir says what we all think about Sarah Palin, loses job over it

This shit right here. You want to see violations of free speech? They’re nowhere more abundant than in our media, perfectly designed to keep any real talk from reaching the ears of the effortlessly-herded masses. The story: Sarah Palin, the … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Hatred, News | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Why I’m Broke

Dear thisiswhyimbroke.com: I’m broke because I am a grown man whose daily necessary expenditures outweigh a painfully inadequate income. I am not broke because I wanted to put a fucking giant nose in my shower.

Posted in Miscellaneous Hatred, Stupidity | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Book, Twitter

I finished my book. Soon I will submit it to Jumpin’ Jimmy’s Publish Barn/Chophouse, and once they accept it you will all know that I am a real writer and not just a guy pretending to write books in order … Continue reading

Posted in Updates | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Quvenzhane Wallis to the Onion: “Don’t call me a c*nt, sh*td*cks”

After an overwhelming backlash, the Onion released an apology on Monday for a tweet calling 9-year old actress Quvenzhane Wallis, who was nominated for Best Actress at the 85th annual Academy Awards Sunday, a “cunt.” The redress called the tweet … Continue reading

Posted in News | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

An update ten months after the one that promised a new update every week

I’m nothing but a dirty liar. Maybe not nothing but a dirty liar. I’m a decent cook, and I get along well with others. I’m nothing but an amiable, fairly kitchen-savvy, no-good dirty liar. Why so long since my last … Continue reading

Posted in Updates | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

‘Supdate

Hey, ‘Sup. So, obviously I haven’t been around for a while. So what? Does that mean I turned to a life of crime? No. The point is, don’t believe everything the news media tells you, those shows are just looking … Continue reading

Posted in Updates, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

4 reasons not to participate in NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo for the “hip” and “friendless,” is an event spanning the month of November during which would-be writers with ADD prove that they can write 50,000 words before being distracted by their next hobby, usually … Continue reading

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments