Author Archives: Chris Haygood

About Chris Haygood

Chris Haygood is an author of novels, short stories, and screenplays. He lives in one of the darker sectors of the cosmos with his wife, two kids, and 1700 dogs.

Shut Up About Cthulhu

Posted on August 3, 2011 by Chris Haygood

“I just don’t understand what makes him so popular,” said the Loch Ness monster. “Oh, I know. Is it his Escher-esque city, terribly located in the middle of the ocean? His wings that probably can’t even lift his fat ass … Continue reading →

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Buy these books.

Posted on July 28, 2011 by Chris Haygood

The Time Machine Did It by John Swartzwelder The Internet is a Playground by David Thorne Get them. What do you mean “why”? You like to laugh, don’t you? Have I ever steered you wrong before? You have to stop arguing with … Continue reading →

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Frank Speed

Posted on July 22, 2011 by Chris Haygood

When I was still a rookie on the force, there was a guy called Frank Speed. I don’t know if that was his real name. Somehow I doubt it. Anyway, Frank was a bank robber, and we could never, ever … Continue reading →

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I Think Angry Birds Might Be Losing Popularity

Posted on July 11, 2011 by Chris Haygood
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The Last Adventure of Tired Man and Hyper Boy

Posted on July 4, 2011 by Chris Haygood

“Tired Man!” screamed Hyper Boy. “TiredManTiredManTiredManTiredMan!” “Ugh,” groaned Tired Man, still in his bathrobe. “What. Calm down.” “The Tired Signal is flashing OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD” Tired Man squinted at the Tired Signal. Indeed it was flashing. It hurt his eyes. “I’m too … Continue reading →

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A Few Things

Posted on June 30, 2011 by Chris Haygood

In my last update, I mentioned that I was working on a number of different types of projects. One of these projects deals with video game writing. After all, if there’s anything I like more than disintegrating zombies in Fallout … Continue reading →

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Another Scourge Update

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Chris Haygood

I realize haven’t updated in a while, and there are two reasons for that. The first is that I’ve been working on a number of projects other than fiction and literary inanity and they’ve taken up a lot of my time. … Continue reading →

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“The Suicidal Tendencies of Edgar J. Lamont” Published in The Big Jewel

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Chris Haygood

The Big Jewel has published my story, “The Suicidal Tendencies of Edgar J. Lamont,” which you can read here. It’s hard to be funny when writing about such a topic, but I tried anyway because that’s what I do. What … Continue reading →

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On GriddleCakes

Posted on June 6, 2011 by Chris Haygood

I don’t know when we decided pancakes were a good substitute for bread, but it was probably after “cripplingly obese” became “more to love.”

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“Doomed from the Start: The WAPTIAW Campaign” Published in Defenestration

Posted on June 2, 2011 by Chris Haygood

My piece, “Doomed from the Start: The WAPTIAW Campaign,” has been published on the literary humor site Defenestration. You can find it here. You’ll like it if you like reading about wasps playing sports (and who doesn’t). Give it a … Continue reading →

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